So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
