"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
