Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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