yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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