Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
