yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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