just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
