i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
