the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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