the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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