Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
