I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize