YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
