That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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