Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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