Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
