Yo dont text me then not text me
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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