I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
