Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
