Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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