I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize