One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Found the puke drawer
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
