Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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