We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
