What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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