She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
