She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
