she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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