I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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