i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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