Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
