she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize