Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
