It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
