I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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