How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
