drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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