Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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