I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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