Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
