the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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