I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
