Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize