I want to walk on stilts...naked
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
