Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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