There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
