Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
