I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The air was thick with penises
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
