and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
