Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
