you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
