addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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