would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize