My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
