AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
