there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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