I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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