It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Bang-toberfest begins!!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
