Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
